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Dating While Fat (and With High Self-Esteem)

Soooo... I am single and ready to mingle. Hi boys! I've been single for about 18 months now. I got out of a six year relationship with a wonderful person who was not the right one for me. I started dating about eight months after we broke up and I gotta tell you, it's been a bit of a shitshow. (laugh cry emoji!).

Seven years ago, when I was dating previously, I didn't really have high self-esteem. I was getting there, with my confidence, but I wasn't really there, and so dating was actually really easy because I would go on a date with any motherfucker that sent me a message. Even if the message was like, "Hey girl," or just, "Hey." I'd be like, "Be still my beating heart. I think we got Prince Charming on the line." So I'd go on a date with them and they'd be like really not a right fit, and still I wouldn't run for the hills. I'd say to myself, "Well, we'll see how it goes."

Went on lots of dates with unsuitable people and when someone was even slightly suitable, I would be like, "Oh my God. I'm probably going to marry this guy." It was lucky that I ended up with the guy that I did actually because he's a nice. But it was lucky because I could have ended up with whoever looked at me basically. Which is sad. Right?

So now when I get these messages from the same types of people like, "Hey," I'm just like, "No. I'm fucking amazing. I don't know if you've noticed but I'm a goddess". I've got really high standards now. I'm not interested in people who are not going to make the effort, who don't realize that I am a queen.

Obviously sometimes you don't know, you can't really tell what someone is like until you meet them. If we exchange some messages, I'll give people a little bit of leeway because you never know. So I have said "no" to so many dates it's really interesting. I find it really interesting that I'm listening to what my intuition is telling me. So my intuition will say, "Victoria, I don't think we like him," and my brain will be like, "Give him a chance. You never know." - the old less confident version of myself. Then the confident one will be like, "Bitch. No. Don't go on a date with him." So I often don't go on a date.

I haven't had a date in four months now. But next week I'm going speed-dating so we shall see how that goes. If you are fat and dating, then good luck to you. When I was fat and dating and had low self-esteem, I would, yeah, just say "yes" to any old Tom, Dick, or Harry that would come along because I was like, I thought, "I'm lucky that they're overlooking this fatness because really I'm repulsive. So if they are a bit weird in the bad way, or if they are not the best person, then well who am I to turn them down because I'm fat." No. That was such wrong thinking. That was such wrong thinking.

Now people are lucky to even go on a date with me. "Oh my God. Have you seen me?" That is the same attitude that you should have. So no matter if you're fat, thin, tall, short, whatever, people are lucky to have a date with you because they get access to an incredible person, and it doesn't matter if you're fat because you're a fucking queen.

So if you would like some more advice about how to feel confident in your body and love yourself, then head on over to my free Extreme Confidence Makeover, a 10-day ecourse just for you, and the link is below. 

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